Fighting insecurity
I was having a chat with a friend earlier in the week and we got in the dreaded zone of past relationships and naming the baggage we carry.
The topic of insecurity came up when trying to understand what might have caused her relationship to hit the rocks. We ended up laying most of the blame on her ex and we concluded that he was insecure but the conclusion made me unsettled. After the talk, I wondered if many of us are also insecure in other ways but we refused to acknowledge it because one thing I do know is that it is very easy to castigate others as the problem without looking inward.
After pondering about this for a while, I am getting to the conclusion that many of us are currently insecure. When I mean many of us, I mean the working class youth, of child bearing age, twenty somethings all the way to thirty something, maybe even people in the forty’s too.
To start, let us define insecurity. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary; Insecure is a deficient in assurance: beset by fear and anxiety. Not highly stable or well-adjusted. Not confident or sure: Uncertain. not adequately guarded or sustained: Unsafe. Not firmly fastened or fixed: Shaky. Unable to reliably afford or access what is needed to meet one’s basic needs.
Do I just stop here? As this explains many of us in the world right now.
Many of us are feeling unsafe, unsure about our livelihoods, our welfares, our governments, our finances, and even our health!
We are witnessing a declining birth rate, less partnerships with the opposite sex, an increase in short term thinking/scarcity mindset, and an intense focus on material wealth.
It is no wonder that many of us are living in a perpetual state of numbness, with the constant distraction of social media and entertainment as relief valves but it only gives us temporary relief and we are back to reality. Like a drug, we constantly are looking for the dopamine hit, and just like that we find ourselves in a loop. Also explains why we constantly purchase more and more unnecessary goods that we don’t need to impress people that don’t care for us but only care about themselves as they are also insecure about where they are in life too.
What I perceive here is that we are in a hamster wheel of fear and anxiety and we have no authority figure to assure the masses that all will be well. Seems like a deliberate policy to destroy society as we know it. We are going down the path that leads to the destruction of the self, family and society as a whole. Seems we are seeking a strong leader as the fatherly archetype as in recent decades, we have all been smothered with excess motherly archetype in society. A balance between both will actually be the best option but since we have gone too far in one direction, we need to revert back then we settle at the middle.
I am not implying I am any better than anyone like my friend. I am just willing to call myself out in the open because I am also as vulnerable as the next guy or girl. I try to get better by admitting it first, taking responsibility, and making adjustments in my life to be a better person and hopefully to be a better leader.
Many of us are all screwed in this modern age, we all seem to be chasing money but to what end? Like I mentioned to my friend, she claims to be an “entrepreneur”, (everyone seems to use this label on themselves) while proudly thumping her chest that she wants no relationship and is happy to be alone. I do not buy it as I am certain that nobody wants to be alone and die alone. Biologically speaking, we are all social animals and we yearn to be part of a group or family. Like I asked her during our discussion, “to what end is your entrepreneurship thing?” after you make money, who will you spend it on or with or what will you use it for? Of course all I heard was crickets…
We can start to change by healing ourselves through joint sessions where we share our insecurities, burdens, fears and collectively assure ourselves. I have been thinking of starting a group like this similar to what The Stoa is doing on their YouTube channel, although they seem to be refined and polished. I aim to hold sessions where we unload our collective pains after reading a passage or poem, and probably invite a professional to moderate. It might sound a lot like “circling” (look it up on YouTube), or sound like many of the self help groups but I do not have this in mind. My vision, inspired from Peter Limberg of The Stoa, is where people of virtue come together to inspire and grow together. I see what Peter Limberg has been doing and I am impressed by his growth. I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
I am willing to start small and dirty, no website, no funds, just starting with a YouTube channel and possibly no audience but I am ready to grow and fail in the open. One thing that is for sure is that I will learn as I proceed on this path.
At the end, I come from dirt and I will return to dirt.
Memento Mori.
See you next week!
- Ope